Heretic Pride

Tracklist + Lyrics:

1. Sax Rohmer #1

   Fog lifts from the harbor, dawn goes down to day
   An agent crests the shadows of a nearby alleyway
   Piles of broken bricks, signposts on the path
   Every moments points toward the aftermath

   Sailors straggle back from their nights out on the town
   Hopeless urchins from the city gather around
   Spies from imperial China wash in with the tide
   Every battle heads toward surrender on both sides

   And I am coming home to you
   With my own blood in my mouth
   And I coming home to you
   If it's the last thing that I do

   Bells ring in the tower, wolves howl in the hills
   Chalk marks show up on a few high windowsills
   And a rabbit gives up somewhere and a dozen hawks descend
   Every moment leads toward its own sad end

   Ships loosed from their moorings capsize and then they're gone
   Sailors with no captains watch a while and then move on
   And an agent crests the shadows and I head in her direction
   All roads lead toward the same blocked intersection

   I am coming home to you
   With my own blood in my mouth
   And I am coming home to you
   If it's the last thing that I do 

2. San Bernardino

   We got in your car and we hit the highway
   Eastern sun was rising over the mountains
   Yellow and blood-red bits
   Like a kaleidoscope

   And flaming swords may guard the garden of Eden
   But we consulted maps from earlier days
   Dead languages on our tongues
   Holding onto our last hope

   And the day was bright and fine
   And the highway sign
   Said "San Bernardino
   Welcomes you!"

   I checked us into our motel and filled the bathtub
   And you got in the warm, warm water
   I pulled petals from my pocket
   I loved you so much just then

   And it was hard, but you were brave, you are splendid
   And we will never be alone in this world
   No matter what they say
   We're going to be okay

   We were safe inside
   And our new son cried
   "San Bernardino
   Welcomes you!" 

3. Heretic Pride

   Well, they come and pull me from my house
   And they drag my body through the streets
   And the sun's so hot I think I'll catch fire and burn up
   In the summer air so moist and sweet

   And the people all come out to cheer
   Rocks in the pathway break my skin
   And there's honeysuckle on the faint breeze today
   With every breath I'm drawing in

   I want to cry out
   But I don't scream and I don't shout
   And I feel so proud to be alive
   And I feel so proud when the reckoning arrives

   The crowds grow denser by the second
   As we near the center of the town
   And they dig a trench right in the main square right there
   And they pick me up and throw me down

   And I start laughing like a child
   And I mark their faces one by one
   Transfiguration's going to come for me at last
   And I will burn hotter than the sun

   I waited so long
   And now I taste jasmine on my tongue
   And I feel so proud to be alive
   And I feel so proud when the reckoning arrives 

4. Autoclave

   Hand me your hand, let me look in your eyes
   As my last chance to feel human begins to vaporize
   Maybe it's the heat in here, maybe it's the pressure
   You ought to head for the exits, the sooner the better

   I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam
   And no one in her right mind would make my home her home
   My heart's an autoclave
   My heart's an autoclave

   When I try to open up to you, I get completely lost
   Houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost
   And I reach deep down within but the pathways twist and turn
   And there's no light anywhere and nothing left to burn

   I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam
   And no emotion that's worth having could call my heart its home
   My heart's an autoclave
   My heart's an autoclave

   I dreamt that I was perched atop a throne of human skulls
   On a cliff above the ocean, howling wind and shrieking seagulls
   And the dream went on forever, one single static frame
   Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name

   And I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam
   And no one in her right mind would make her home my home
   My heart's an autoclave
   My heart's an autoclave

5. New Zion

   There were signs up in the sky
   When we gathered by the garden wall
   Everybody on his best behavior
   Listening for the altar call

   High priest of Salem in his robes
   Ranting of the coming of the day
   Ravens at the gates
   Frightening all the visitors away

   I lay down by the water
   Dreamed a dream of where I come from
   Old things made new
   Waiting for you

   There were wooden wind chimes rustling
   In the trees above the anthills on the dunes
   On the high winds, we could hear them
   Old familiar tunes

   The little bit of faith we had once
   Like the memory of a movie
   They got burned up in the great fire
   Reassembling itself slowly by surely

   I lay down by the water
   Dreamed a dream of where I come from
   Old things made new
   Waiting for you 

6. So Desperate

   We were parked in your car
   In our neutral meeting place, the Episcopalian churchyard
   I had things I'd been meaning to say
   But in the dazzling winter sun that late, I could feel them melt away

   And through the warm radio static
   I couldn't hear my stage directions
   And the fog on the windshield
   Obscured our sad reflections

   I felt so desperate
   In your arms
   I felt so desperate
   In your arms

   We were parked near some trees
   And the moonlight soaked the branches in ever deepening degrees
   Had my hand in your hair
   Trying to keep my cool until it became too much to bear

   When we cracked the windows open
   Well, the air was just so sweet
   We could hear the cars ten feet away
   Out there in the street

   I felt so desperate
   In your arms
   I felt so desperate
   In your arms 

7. In the Craters on the Moon

   If the strain proves too much
   Give up right away
   If the light hurts your eyes
   Stay in your room all day

   When the room fills with smoke
   Lie down on the floor
   In the declining years
   Of the long war

   When the blood's in the water
   And the shark's going to come
   And we swim in the dark
   Until our bodies are numb

   Blind desert rats in the moonlight
   Too far from shore
   In the declining years
   Of the long war

   Empty room with a light bulb
   When the phone starts to ring
   Everybody gets nervous
   Nobody says anything

   The next day someone's initials
   Show up on the door
   I think I'm going to crack
   Can't live like this anymore

   Ugly things in the darkness
   Worse things in store
   In the declining years
   Of the long war

8. Lovecraft in Brooklyn

   It's going to be too hot to breathe today but everybody's out here on the streets
   Somebody's opened up the fire hydrant, cold water rushing out in sheets
   Some kid in a Marcus Allen jersey asks me for a cigarette
   Companionship is where you find it, so I take what I can get

   Hubcaps on the cars like fun house mirrors
   Stick to the shadows when I can
   Lovecraft in Brooklyn

   When the sun goes down, the armies of the voiceless, several hundred thousand strong
   Come out without their bandages, their voices raised in song
   When the streetlights sputter out, they make this awful sizzling sound
   I cast my gaze toward the pavement, too many blood stains on the ground

   Rhode Island drops into the ocean
   No place to call home anymore
   Lovecraft in Brooklyn

   Head outside most every day
   To try to keep the wolves away
   Imagine nice things I might say
   If company should come

   Woke up afraid of my own shadow, I mean, like genuinely afraid
   Headed for the pawnshop to buy myself a switchblade
   Someday something's coming from way out beyond the stars
   To kill us while we stand here, it'll store our brains in mason jars

   And then the girl behind the counter
   She asks me how I feel today
   I feel like Lovecraft in Brooklyn

9. Tianchi Lake

   Children by the water banks
   Laughing long and loud
   Changbai's high, fine western peaks
   Just beneath the clouds

   Currents in the water
   Churning in their course
   Body of a sea lion
   Head just like a horse

   Preacher in the soft, brown sand
   Begins to speak his peace
   High wings in the treetops
   Low flying winter geese

   No one taking pictures
   Everybody still
   And then the water sought its course again
   The way that waters will

   No one at the lakeside now
   Moon up in the sky
   Night birds in the dragon spruce
   Moaning long and high

   Backstroking on the surface
   Moonlight on its face
   Floats the Tianchi monster
   Staring into space

   Out around the temple now
   Narcissus in bloom
   Sensors packed with sandalwood
   Send smoke into the room

   Children in the sand outside
   On their hands and knees
   Sketching pictures all day long
   Of stranger things than these

10. How To Embrace A Swamp Creature

    Got out of bed, could not remember my own name
    Condemned to walk the soil amongst all creatures wild and tame
    Go where I go, do what I must
    Crawl, starving, on my belly, licking up the dry dust

    I see the light in your window
    Ride the elevator to the sixth floor
    Stand with my arms at my sides
    As you open up the door

    But I'm out of my element
    I can't breathe
    I'm out of my element
    I can't breathe

    Alone with your bathroom mirror, try to get my head straight
    Breathe on the glass and wait for it to clear, clean slate
    Meet up with you in the kitchen where the air is hot and dry
    Open up all the faucets, be fruitful and multiply

    I stand where
    The flashing swords gleam
    And I try to shake my head
    Clear of the dream

    But I'm out of my element
    I can't breathe
    I'm out of my element
    I can't breathe

    I start to sweat, I can't cool down
    I'm scared of all the strangers in this town
    I try to tell you just why I've come
    It's like I've got molasses on my tongue

    I made it through town somehow
    But who's gonna save me now?

    I'm out of my element
    I can't breathe
    I'm out of my element
    I can't breathe

11. Marduk T-Shirt Men's Room Incident

    Slumped up against the sink
    Hair plastered to her cheeks
    Marduk t-shirt sticking to her skin
    Refugee from a disco in old East Berlin

    Weightless
    Formless
    Blameless
    Nameless

    Stray syllables were gurgling
    From her throat, one at a time
    Face hidden from my view
    I let myself imagine she was you

    Only weightless
    Formless
    Blameless
    Nameless

    And when I washed my hands
    I ran the water hotter than I could stand
    Half rising to a crouch
    Sinking back down to the floor

    In your walking, keep your head low
    Try to leave no traces when you go

    Stay weightless
    Formless
    Blameless
    Nameless

12. September 15 1983

    Long dinner with some friends way out, way out in Portmore
    Servants of the pharaoh slip in through an open door
    All business, bearing knives and zip guns
    So get on the floor now, every last one, every last one

    The heat drifts
    Across the land
    If I forget you, Israel
    Let me forget my right hand

    And on the floor, Michael James Williams feels his fingers start to freeze
    And the whole scene's like a movie, paramedics on their knees
    Try, try your whole life to be righteous and be good
    Wind up on your own floor, choking on blood

    The heat drifts
    Across the land
    If I forget you, Israel
    Let me forget my right hand

    And the house still smells like onions when the ambulance arrives
    Gabriel in postal blue loads up the car and drives
    To Spanish town, about three miles away
    Where will the wicked run to on that last day, on that last day?

    The heat drifts
    Across the land
    If I forget you, Israel
    Let me forget my right hand 

13. Michael Myers Resplendent

    I am ready for my close-up today
    Too long I've let my self-respect stand in my way
    Well, the prom queen's caught in the high beams
    And the strings keen, it's a big scene

    But when the house goes up in flames
    No one emerges triumphantly from it
    When the scum begins to circle the drain
    Everybody loves a winner

    I spent eight hours in my makeup chair
    Waxed my chest and shaved off all my hair
    Well, the fire's bright and the frame's tight
    Try to get right while we've still got light

    But when the house goes up in flames
    No one emerges triumphantly from it
    When the scum begins to circle the drain
    Everybody loves a winner

    When the house goes up in flames
    When the scum begins to circle the drain