Diamond Destroyer of Death
Tracklist:
Copperfield
I can make the world disappear, turn it into silence, ashes that we leave behind here, turn them into diamonds. I can make the world disappear, (but) nothing's nothing, too.
Paralyzed
Use windows like they're mirrors. Soon a face will appear. You've made it a career. You're a prisoner here, lonely and paralyzed by fear, like every single time you hoped you'd disappear. I'm not going to help you. I'm not going to save you, but you won't let me be.
Demon Ghost Cave
At the end of your life, you were worried about how I would live mine. Even when you're a light, you can choose not to shine in the darkest of times. It's okay to want to die, but you can't hide from every subsequent new life. I can love you today, but I can't guarantee that you will be safe. Still, you can't be destroyed by anything else, not even yourself. Though, you really tried to do all could. In a dream, my shadow came to me wearing the skin of my enemy.
I'm Not Going to Help You
Blowing kisses into the abyss and it is someone else's problem now... and then, phone it in to fein lip servicing. I'm not going to help you. I'm not going to save you, but you won't let me be. And now you couldn't give it away or pay someone else to take it, beautiful, useless, full of excuses. I'm not going to help you. I'm not going to save you, but you won't let me be.
Opposite of Flowers
Is there something wrong with me if I hate to see you happy, and everything feels empty? Is there something wrong with me when you tell me that it's nothing, but I cannot let that dog sleep? No one thinks about you even half as much as you think that they do. Find a way to love when you feel lonely. Find a way to love when you feel nothing. Find a way to love in spite of everything.
The Vulture and the Void
I felt betrayed by my own insides, and I felt shame when I prayed that you'd die. But I don't want to feel anything at all if I don't have to, cause it can be so cruel. I should be patient, and eat the ancient carrion, my wayward son. But I don't want to be anything at all if I don't have to, (still) nothing's nothing too.
Reaction Video Dream
I see a Desert Spine from my window. I hear a broken mind when I lay my head on the pillow. In a dream my shadow came to me, wearing the skin of my enemy, telling me, "sometimes things can seem like an eternity." I saw myself inside of my own life. My liquid crystal light had frozen me for a time. In a dream my shadow came to me, wearing the skin of my enemy, telling me, "sometimes things can seem like an eternity."
Take Me
Take the dirt I'm standing on. Take the virgin snow. Take the earth fracked with accounts hacked, and show me where to go. I laid waste at a break-neck pace. I was waging war. I will grind myself like a corpse. It's a habit, just being dramatic, no reason to panic. Take my blood and ugly lungs. Take my guts out too. Take this flood of empty thoughts, and tell me what to do. I laid waste at a break-neck pace. I was waging war. I will grind myself like a corpse.
No One Thinks About You
Does it get lonely spending all of your time in the future? Even the past became a painfully dull architecture. No one thinks about you even half as much as you think that they do. Tighten your grip and it will break you apart like a cancer, and you have been tricked into believing it gets you an answer. I laid waste at a break-neck pace. I was waging war. I will grind myself like a corpse. No one thinks about you even half as much as you think that they do.
It's Fine (Every time)
I don't blame you. There's nothing to do. I can't cry when I need to. Every time I think I found it, I am wrong. It's a habit just being dramatic, no reason to panic. Every time I think I found it I am wrong/lonely and paralyzed by fear, like every single time you hoped you'd disappear. I don't need anyone. I don't need anything. I'll be fine on my own, at least I'd like to think so.
Vinyl Details
This vinyl is a transparent blue, nearly the same as Can Opener's Notebook and one half of Ocean Eyes. While the sides aren't marked with A and B, the album art is inverted in the label on the A side, so they can at least be told apart more easily than on Impossible Animals. (Yes, the white one is the A side. I don't know why but it bugs me a lot.)
If you're wondering about the lyric layout on here, that's the way they're written both on bandcamp and on the lyric insert with the vinyl - but more on that in a bit.
Personal Thoughts
The first time I listened to this album was when Luma messaged me while going insane trying to figure out the lyrics (the album had just dropped and they weren't up on bandcamp yet). I think they had a goal of beating the other top ROAR lyrics submitter on geniuslyrics or something? I can't remember the context that well, but I fell in love with this album pretty much the first time I heard it. (Which is kind of crazy, considering it took me much longer - like, years longer - to get attached to Impossible Animals.) I wonder if I still have the google doc from our mental and lyrical breakdown somewhere AHA I FOUND IT. So now I can treat you to such mishearings as:
- fold it in to fund their services (phone it in to fein lip servicing)
- I can wield you a knife (I can love you today)
- So you can't believe the strike (Still you can't be destroyed)
- But I cannot let that dove sleep (But I cannot let that dog sleep)
- "this section got put through the vaporwave shredder" (End of The Vulture and the Void)
I still hear it as "I cannot let that dove sleep" because of this. I cannot unhear it.
Anyway, eventually they put the lyrics on bandcamp, and all was well with the world. Sometime around then I also fed a few of the tracks through the "Eternal Jukebox" (or something of the sort website I forgot the name for sure) because they were so short and my ADHD brain needed something More than the looping I'd already been doing. To this day that is the most insane I've been about looping something, besides maybe Alibi by the Mountain Goats, which I once looped 200+ times over the course of 3 days according to my desktop music player.
What can I say. Find a way to love when you feel lonely. Find a way to love when you feel nothing. Find a way to love in spite of everything.