April Fools

Tracklist + Lyrics:

1. Friends With You

   how long do i have to wait 
   til my lonely days are over 
   my heart is on the train 
   a bag without an owner 

   i put myself to bed just halfway through the party 
   i love all my friends but i hate when their eyes are on me 
   i miss being friends with you, but what can i do 
   what can i do but leave you alone 

   here's to you and me 
   and the crumbling infrastructure no one else can see 
   the end result of my own reckless impulsivity 
   could you spare a sec to talk to me 

   but what is left to say 
   now we see each other plain 
   why do you pretend 
   you don't know who's to blame 

   underneath the streetlight 
   you are dark and sweet and golden 
   i creep out of the night 
   to rest my head on your shoulder 

   and i can tell you really love me 
   can you tell i'm really sorry? 
   can you tell i'm REALLY SORRY? 
   let's just go home

2. Apple Pie

   oh ain't it lovely ain't it sweet
   to be staring at my feet when i see you on the street
   i just get so bummed out when i think about
   how i'll always be too shy to say what's on my mind
   i'm fantasizing all the time

   and every day is always sunny
   i'm sweet as syrup on ya, honey
   and isn't it wonderful?
   how you make me so confused when i talk to you
   am i losing my mind or am i winning your heart?

   oh if only i'd met you way back when i was alone without a friend
   things would've been so much easier then
   now i forget how to feel, i haven't fully healed
   from that awful blow
   i hope it doesn't show, cause i don't want to be alone

   every day's an apple pie
   when i'm with you i'm not so shy
   and i almost feel alive in your arms
   help me forget what i'm going through and i'll give everything to you
   it's the least that i could do

   we could be happy you and me
   we could be happy you and me
   we could be happy you and me
   we could be happy you and me
   we could be happy you and me
   we could be happy you and me
   we could be happy you and me
   we could be happy?

3. Feelin' So Matryoshka

   electrical currents shorting out my gelatin mind all the
   time, it's such a wonder my head don't blow like a halogen bulb
   peach schnapps in plastic cups
   i trust you've got nothing but good intentions

   feelin' so matryoshka but i have lost my painted doll likeness
   it's been such a bore just thinking of ways to fill a day
   lately all these paper clones have lost their fun
   now you've grown so sick of my wooden affection

   i know the night the void the darkness belong to you Rhonda
   i know
   but this sudden rot has caught me totally off-guard
   and i don't have a clue how to own it like you do
   could you teach me how to break down with elegance?

   Rhonda don't leave me to crumble at your feet
   has something happened between us?
   you used to be so sweet

4. In a Bitter Syrup

   september & october caught me in a nervous daydream
   felt like a piranha dangling on a candy-coated hook
   all the rain and overflowing drainpipes couldn't stop the world from glowing
   with a light i'd only ever seen in dreams

   my eyes are two browning drying flowers pressed hard into my skin
   trying to remember how they looked, if they were beautiful
   casually lying on the kitchen floor, overcome with bubblegum bliss
   cause this is the first time i've truly had any fun

   sweet confusion in a bitter syrup lift my spirits up again
   kiss me on the eyelids and tuck me into bed

5. Catabolic Seed

   oh what's a devil to do
   when those old delusions so tried and true
   don't come through like they used to?

   ugh all my money's run out
   i blew it all on a cumulus cloud
   that dissipated so fast, seems the good times never last

   and i always fall flat on my back, like an upside-down cat
   but is bad luck really such a crime?
   if you won't be my valentine, could you at least give me a little bit of sympathy?

   oh i made a silly mistake (what'd you do?)
   i've given up more than i can take (uh oh!)
   and left hollows in my wake

   my structure's compromised
   but you still batter at all my fault lines
   i can't run, i can't hide, but you can't say i didn't try

   to retreat back into me like a catabolic seed
   i want to destroy everything that's mine!
   if you won't be my valentine, could you at least give me a little bit of sympathy?

   i don't care if i'm losing myself in the garden of earthly delights
   i could drop dead right where i stand, i wouldn't mind

6. Icicles

   get in your zone, dont even look at them at all 
   their shallow observations will only stall the transformation 
   youve become art, how could they even start to see 
   beyond your presentation when theyve got no imagination 

   but i admit it would be easier to be relieved of all this shame and not have to wear it on my sleeve 
   i imagine its quite nice for you to have so many chances oh so many ways to be redeemed 

   but as for me i can only be forgiven if im givin myself up to you on a silver serving tray 
   must i bare myself to the stabbing of your knife and gnashing teeth while our lovely company appears so entertained 

   ah yes, good etiquette demands i remain soft and accessible in the face of my own ending 
   so i will try to be discreet thru my FULL-BLOWN IMPLOSION i’ll stay golden and retreat into my sweetest fantasy 

   (the one where you are crying & i dont do anything at all) 

   my world has turned so cold but i wont cry 
   cause icicles dont soften when they die so why should i 
   icicles dont soften when they die 
   they sharpen into sabers and they STAB YOU IN THE EYE

7. A Mannequin Adrift

   hey, what's a good kid like you doing in a place like this?
   surely you're sick of the sorry predicament you've landed yourself in?
   you are determinedly ill but still you ought to have some idea
   why you're still hanging around

   come on, let us see you smile
   stop crying and let's see you smile
   there
   you're much prettier that way

   it's so hard to function
   i feel like my body has died with my soul trapped inside
   this cold death rattle in my chest feels just like pennies in a tin can

   Rhonda i wonder how long you will wait for me?
   or if you even thought to save the pieces of my shattered ego
   these terrible chemical vapors are cutting up my lungs

   come on don't you remember me?
   or have you burned my effigy?
   it floats around my memory like a mannequin adrift at sea
   i think perhaps things might be better off this way

8. Blood From the Concrete

   i'll take the rocks out of my head
   and you can sell them on the internet
   to a paving company who
   will grind my brains into cement

   when i'm the gravel we can travel and unravel the threads that bind us to our senses
   i'll pave the way so we can make our mental getaway
   i'll be your highway you can drive all over me

   i don't know how i could get any lower but!
   i can try my best for you cause
   if i can't be a good friend, maybe i can be good pavement
   baby i'll lead you into the light

   what can i do for you?
   i want to make you feel important
   i'll give it up for you cause
   after all you've been so supportive

   like, i get that trying to get affection from me is like trying to draw blood from the concrete
   i'll prove that i can change, i'll rearrange my particles
   transform my heart into a tunnel over you

   i don't know how i could get any lower but
   i can try my best for you cause
   if i can't be a good friend, maybe i can be good pavement
   i can be your highway you can walk all over me

9. A Night at the Movies

   i got out for a while today
   thought i would go see a movie
   spent ninety minutes alone in the dark
   still i could feel your eyes bore into me

   i think you've poisoned me right to the core
   wonder if you'll ever really know
   i bought some beer at the corner store
   i took the long way getting home

   if the sky falls down on our house
   it would have been a long time coming
   if the walls all caved in i'd just lie down
   i wouldn't even bother running

   only crazy people look up at the sky and say
   "oh, isn't it beautiful?"
   oh, they must be delusional!
   the earth and the sky are pressing hard on my body

   my poor little body!
   oh no oh no oh no
   why won't they just leave me alone?

   i got out for a while today
   but it made no difference to me
   i finally said what i needed to say
   but there was nobody home to listen to me

10. Pink Smoke

    you walk through walls, set off the smoke alarm
    i feel your arms wrapping around me
    your aura almost drowns me like a deadly perfume
    pink smoke

    i'm choking on your memory, it fills my chest
    i lose my breath thinking about you
    i'm trying to get by without you but the air is full of ash
    pink smoke

    pink smoke gets stuck in my throat
    pink smoke gets stuck in my throat
    when i say your name my heart goes up in flames
    it smells so very strange, like grenadine & gasoline

    pink smoke

11. Pleasure Cruise

    down by the bay a man made of clay 
    dips his toes into the ocean, trying to wash himself away 
    he jumps into the pond and he starts to dissolve 
    and he dreams about the streams that bleed into the amazon 

    if you are a boulder that never leaves the shore 
    you'll get ground up into sand and tracked onto the floor 
    swept into a pile on someone's kitchen tile 

    these hurricanes have led my heart astray 
    but maybe if i try my hardest i'll finally chase the rainclouds all away 

    i heard on the news that they keep finding shoes 
    on the shores of ecuador and no one knows what they should do 
    they tried to give them away but there's more every day 
    ballet shoes in shades of blue and rubber boots and mary janes 

    if you have to get away, don't take a pleasure cruise 
    cause you might get swept away (and you'll lose your shoes) 
    they'll end up in a pile on some foreign isle 

    these hurricanes have led my heart astray 
    but maybe if i try my hardest i'll finally chase the rainclouds all away 

    in a couple years, the land will disappear under the ocean 
    when that day is here i'll pack a bathing suit and tanning lotion 
    i'll let the waves take me away 
    ~away~

12. Toynbee Tiles

    sweet dreams, i'll see you in the morning
    all we need is a few hours sleep
    and tomorrow, we'll keep looking for clues
    to the riddles spelled out in our soup

    there's a dozen round every corner
    but it won't be easy to piece them together
    but we've got minds like barbed wire
    i never thought that it would be so tough
    just to exist through the simplest, most menial stuff
    but i know we're gonna figure this thing out (or self-immolate trying)

    there once was a time when we walked crooked lines
    but that's all over now
    i'll walk with you into the blue

    dreamt of a city, somewhere over the mountains
    where the sidewalks are paved with helpful ideas
    you were with me, standing over the highway
    gasoline hanging in the air

    can't seem to cut loose all these tangled threads
    in my embroidered tapestry crafted by my very own 2,000 hands
    you got any weekend plans?
    can't help but wonder if you're still my pal
    but you told me once that you would follow me into hell
    and oh man, that place is far behind me now

    there once was a time when we walked crooked lines
    but that's all over now
    i'll walk with you into the blue

    there was a traveler who claimed he had all the answers
    he came from jupiter but he was only an amateur
    he was all alone so far from home

    there once was a time when we walked crooked lines
    but that's all over now
    i'll walk with you into the blue